Outlandish

Listing your highlights from the past year is a common practice for social media users around the globe when the year is nearing its end. I encountered this question as early this year as October and it got me thinking... The years when I have actually achieved a lot (moving abroad; getting a job in a huge, international company; achieving a long-time dream, etc.) I never acknowledged those achievements much. Personally, of course, I was aware of what had happened and been done but I didn’t shout about it publicly. On the other hand, the few years that have truly been the most trying in my life so far I have mentioned. Usually in a form of a prayer or a heart-felt wish that the next year would please be better. So far I have gotten that wish... Most of the time. But honestly, how your next year turns out to be depends a lot on how you embark on it; do you start the year with the Finnish mentality ”it’s gonna be just as shit as the last one, nothing ever changes” or do ...

Finally back in Tallinn after a month of traveling all over the place. Good to be back! I arrived again on the last ship on Wednesday evening and oh how wonderful it was to close the door behind me and see my perfect apartment in front of me just as I left it three weeks before. My couch, my kettle and my bed! I can't even count how many kilometers or hours I spent altogether on buses around the European subcontinent or the places where I slept. Even at my parents' place I sleep in my brother's old room so I didn't feel "at home" sleeping anywhere this past month.  But don't get me wrong, I am not complaining! This has been probably the best June I've ever had, also weather-wise! Instead of going to Turku to home office after my trip to Slovakia I was able to go home and work from there already on the second week of the month. Being able to work from basically anywhere is an absolute necessity to me these days, I don't even understand ...

Me moving to Tallinn in the time-frame I did and with all the new furniture would not have been possible without my parents' help! They drove, much to a lot of people's astonishment, to Bratislava and back to Finland with me and aaaall my things onboard. I got a lot of comments from friends and random people suggesting that I'm a spoilt prat because no normal kid would get their parents driving through Europe like that. But that just shows how little they know; in our family it has always been very clear that one looks after one's self. That doesn't mean, though, that help wouldn't be needed and offered. In addition almost every Finn I have met in Bratislava have had their family members drive from Finland to Bratislava and back. Also, this was the easiest and the most adventurous option, which suits me fine :) I didn't have any furniture, only clothes, shoes and bed linen. But it was pretty damn close that not everything would have fit in ...

Yesterday after work I was sitting in my favourite café here in Bratislava, Urban House, having a glass of wine and looking out of the window at people coming from and going to the Christmas market. And it hit me like a ton of bricks: what the hell am I doing? Why am I moving away from a place where I have been nothing but happy 100% of the time? Why am I changing a job in a huge, international company to a job in a small, unknown company?  I had to really pick my brain and list some pros and cons again in my mind and eventually it all comes down to one thing. Family. That's why I'm moving away from here, closer to home. It's my brother's and my best friend's birthdays at the end of January and if I lived in Slovakia I wouldn't be able to attend either. At this moment, when panic is rising in me, the fact that I wouldn't have to fly to get home made it certain to me that this is something I have to do right now. If I didn't go to Tallinn a...

Here in Slovakia I have become familiar with the concept of Secret Santa. It is a popular Christmas time activity at work places and I assume it originates from the States. The main idea is to lift at random a colleague's name from a hat. Your job then is to buy something small to this colleague as a Christmas present. The presents are later dealt out by the Secret Santa and the point is that you don't know from whom your gift is.  Of course if you get your best friend's name from the hat you'd probably buy something personal and maybe attach a card on it to notify them that it's from you. Our team has a bit of a grumpy reputation; not eager to participate in any stupid team activities. But for this most people were totally in (of course there were the odd two people who tried to squirm out... I didn't give them a choice :D). I've mentioned before how hard buying Christmas gifts is. Especially because I want the gifts to be useful and s...

It's December so I am "allowed" to spread open my suitcase and start filling it with shoes and clothes for the Christmas holidays in Finland. Three weeks is a relatively long time for having only one suitcase but this time the biggest challenge is that I should fill it with things that I can leave home when I fly back after Christmas. There's no point to drag, for example, summer clothes and shoes from here to Tallinn when I won't be needing them for at least six months. 1st of December is also the holy day when everyone gets to finally open the first doors on their Advent calendars. I remember how difficult it was as a child to wait for December to dawn on when we knew in which closet the calendars were standing and waiting. I also remember one time when the first of December came and it turned out that my brother had already emptied the entire calendar of all chocolates. Why he had then closed the doors again and left the empty calendar in the close...

Sometimes life throws you against the wall and causes bruises that take years to heal. Some people succumb under the pressure, I decided I've had enough, I'll run away. They say that you can't run away from your troubles, you'll always bump into them on the way but I did exactly that and it was the best decision I ever made . When moving to Slovakia I didn't have any expectations, I didn't know where I was going. And during the one and a half years I have realized what makes me happy:  I've always enjoyed being in a big group, I love having a lot of people around me. Important people that is. I don't know where this comes from because my family hasn't been exactly keen on having huge gatherings more than what has been an absolute necessity. Here in Slovakia I've met such amazing people who have become veery important to me as friends but also as a sort of family. We are all so different, we all have a "role" in the group...

Loneliness. Doesn't have quite the same ring to it in English as it does in Finnish. In Finland loneliness has been in headlines for a while now because it's becoming a huge social problem: 400 000 lonely people in a country of 5 million. Scientifically explained loneliness is an involuntary experience and emotion. For a lot of people in the world this might sound incomprehensible, but even in a metropolis you can be completely alone. I would know.   As a Finn I enjoy being on my own every now and then. Nothing beats a lazy Sunday alone at home or in a café with a book. During busy weeks or months I see those lonely days as a bit of luxury. But a human being, especially me, has a limit with the voluntary loneliness. For some that limit is just a need to ask an opinion or telling someone what happened to them today. The simplest thing, but it can be devastating if you don't have anyone to ask or to tell. Others, like me, have the limit much lower: just the need to s...

Reality starting to set in. Last week I handed in my resignation, for the first time with trepidation. I'm utterly aware that most people would never do what I'm about to do: leave a job they like in a company they like and move away from a country that they absolutely love. Yes, I'm completely nuts! We have this saying in Finland that rolling rocks don't get mossy and I think that's the story of my life in a nutshell. I get bored easily and boredom is my worst nightmare. I need new experiences and excitement in my life all the time and even though I am completely happy here in Bratislava, if I let this opportunity of discovering a new country slip away I would never  forgive myself! And as a single, childless, independent person, why wouldn't I go and be nuts :D I'm an experience-addict! But, I still have a lot of time left here and thankfully it's one of my favourite times of the year: Christmas. The markets are lit up and there's ...

Among the horribilities (I just made up a word!) in Paris during the past week it has been absolutely refreshing to notice some little good deeds that people do around us all the time. Like the video  of people rescuing animals from all sorts of places and situations.  Also at work, in accordance to the Christmas spirit, we are trying to contribute to the lives of some people who are less "fortunate" in life. Here in Slovakia poor families and families with disabled children don't get much support from the state. So the big companies that have come here want to do their share and, for example, we have this Tree of Wishes before Christmas every year here at work. Basically it's a Christmas tree standing in the lobby decorated with wishes from children in the institutions or programs that the company is co-operating with. Some lovely people in our team went and picked a wish: a kitchen with crayons and wax to form figures out of, not that much for us to pu...

Crossroads... I'm there again and it's time to decide whether to go right or left. Or more accurately, which I prefer, South or North.  Last week I applied for a job in Tallinn and another in our team (a promotion if you will). And I stupidly thought that the decision would be made easy when one of them I either didn't get or my salary requests were not met. But no. I got the job in Tallinn and here I was told that even though I didn't get the promotion my skills are needed. I could not decide so I listed some pros and cons. Bratislava is a sunny, warm city in the middle of Central Europe. Easy and cheap access to all big European capitals. People are nice, open and helpful. I have the most amazing team in a big company, which usually equals multiple opportunities for developing professionally.A big company has ensured the fact that I have forged friendships that I would never have even dreamt of. I have been able to arrange activities and events ...