Outlandish

Listening to music before falling asleep. I put the music away when I have fallen sufficiently close to passing out. I hold a cup of tea or coffee ”wrong”: I take the whole cup in my hand(s) even if there is a handle for picking the cup up. This is a habit that was pointed out to me when I was very little and still, to this day, I haven’t been able to shake it. I have a collection of books, which I read all over and over again. I’m extremely particular with books, I can’t just read any book, it needs to match my requirements precisely... Except even I can’t describe what exactly those requirements are. In my apartment there must always be noise. If I’m home the TV is always on, even if there’s nothing interesting to watch. When I take home office, I actually work. The whole 8 hours. I must always choose and prepare my clothes for the next morning before going to sleep. If I don’t do it there’s no point getting up the next morning. ...

This year has been particularly bad weather-wise; we moved from Spring straight to Autumn (read: we moved from rain straight to more rain). And now it seems that global warming might ensure that in the future 'Summer' will become a word that can only be used in past tense, because warm waters (and thus weather) will flee from these latitudes. It's little bit hard to try and stay positive when the shelf of clouds on top of us is so  thick and consistent that we live in constant darkness. The difference between day and night becomes more and more obscure every day as the days also get shorter. Oh yeah, and then there's this rain. Like, non-stop rain, which I thought was a physical impossibility... Unless you live in the monsoon area, which I do not. But it turns out that there is an area, the very last corner of Europe where all clouds gather and dump their load throughout the year. And that place is called Estonia and I, an imbecile moron, decided to move here...

It's amazing what a boost a piece of new furniture can bring! Lately I have been extremely down. I knew when I moved here that Autumn and Winter will probably be a completely shit time for me but still it surprised me how badly it has affected me. It was really cold for October and it's only 3rd November and Estonia is already engulfed in never-ending snow storm. On top of that my only colleague has been working from abroad for a month so I have been completely alone, which is bad... It's really really bad! Thankfully I have had friends visiting every now and then but after two weekends alone at home I really struggled to find anything positive about each day. But then, finally, my brother brought me a new, proper couch and all of a sudden my flat looks like a real adult apartment! I've loved my apartment no matter how shabby and unfinished it has looked with the tiny, red wine-soaked, white sofa which left a lot of empty space unused in the living room....

After a very slow summer things have gotten quite hectic at work, on top of which my colleague is working from another country until the end of October. Most of our communication is done through Watsapp, and since text messages don't have expressions or a tone of voice, sarcasm doesn't always work in text form when you are rushed off your feet anyway. Communication difficulties on top of multiple projects and huge recruiting campaigns (in a language I am not fluent enough in) have caused a lot of stress which has come out as a lot of bickering and arguing. And I don't want to argue with my colleague, we're supposed to get on, which has added another level of stress. I must say, I am rather good at stressing out, so I was in serious need of a break. And as if Tallink was thinking along the same lines they had put boat tickets into a very nice sale last week and I got a Tallinn-Helsinki-Tallinn cruise for 30€. Unheard of! So weekend at home it was. I d...

Brunch is a concept that found its way to Finland at the turn of the first decade of 21st century. And within no time there were queues to some of the nicest bars and restaurants in the Turku and Helsinki center on Sunday mornings, a phenomenon which I thought I would never see in a country that relishes hangover on Sundays! I love brunches. No need to cook yourself, just drag yourself to a restaurant and pay and then fill up your plate as many times as you like! Usually brunches in Finland are like a classier version of a hotel breakfast; a buffet. But depending on the style of the restaurant, of course.  In the Eastern European countries the brunch culture hasn't been noted that much... yet. But little by little the habit is sneaking itself from the shores of Helsinki into Tallinn. And finally about a month ago I noticed that one of my ultimate favourite restaurants here, the aforementioned NOP, has started to serve brunch! Obviously I took the first opportunity...

Autumn is here. Big time. Apple trees all over are stretched to the limit trying to hold the weight of all the delicious apples hanging from their branches and the previously so warm sunshine has grown colder. I mean this, the Sun doesn't feel warm anymore. The trees are not yet yellow but most flowers have died already and the shades of yellow and orange are seeping in to parks and woods. Somehow it seems so wrong... summer was so brief, it didn't properly start at any point. We kept hoping and hoping but it never really started. And now all that weak hope is finally forgotten. But not all is bad about Autumn. Even though it's not warm anymore we have enjoyed a lot of sunshine lately. Also restaurants and shops are changing from their light summer foods to more hearty, full ingredients including vegetables and most importantly, the gold of the forest, mushrooms! A lot of people hate mushrooms because their texture can be a bit slimy and the taste can be strong...

Tallinn is a good place for a shop-a-holic. There are three big malls scattered around the small city (although Rocca Al Mare I wouldn’t recommend, very narrow selection of stores) and truck-loads of small boutiques from the tourist knick-knacks to the global high-end fashion brands. Viru Keskus is probably the most known of them all because it is situated right next to the Old Town, right in the center of the city next to the most famous and prominent building in Tallinn, the very ugly Viru Hotel, which also hosts the KGB museum (some rooms still have the old spy equipment left in them). But between the harbour and Viru Keskus there is an old and a very peculiar industrial area, Rotermanni Kvartal, which is also worth checking out. Rotermann offers something for everyone; if you are a foodie, like shopping, are interested in architecture or history, go check this area out! It is the most interesting mix of old industrial buildings and modern buildings consisting largely ...

Loneliness. Doesn't have quite the same ring to it in English as it does in Finnish. In Finland loneliness has been in headlines for a while now because it's becoming a huge social problem: 400 000 lonely people in a country of 5 million. Scientifically explained loneliness is an involuntary experience and emotion. For a lot of people in the world this might sound incomprehensible, but even in a metropolis you can be completely alone. I would know.   As a Finn I enjoy being on my own every now and then. Nothing beats a lazy Sunday alone at home or in a café with a book. During busy weeks or months I see those lonely days as a bit of luxury. But a human being, especially me, has a limit with the voluntary loneliness. For some that limit is just a need to ask an opinion or telling someone what happened to them today. The simplest thing, but it can be devastating if you don't have anyone to ask or to tell. Others, like me, have the limit much lower: just the need to s...

Crossroads... I'm there again and it's time to decide whether to go right or left. Or more accurately, which I prefer, South or North.  Last week I applied for a job in Tallinn and another in our team (a promotion if you will). And I stupidly thought that the decision would be made easy when one of them I either didn't get or my salary requests were not met. But no. I got the job in Tallinn and here I was told that even though I didn't get the promotion my skills are needed. I could not decide so I listed some pros and cons. Bratislava is a sunny, warm city in the middle of Central Europe. Easy and cheap access to all big European capitals. People are nice, open and helpful. I have the most amazing team in a big company, which usually equals multiple opportunities for developing professionally.A big company has ensured the fact that I have forged friendships that I would never have even dreamt of. I have been able to arrange activities and events ...

God I miss my family... This Sunday was Fathers' Day back at home. My mum cooked a fancy dinner and they had the dogs over again for the weekend. I was looking for a card to send to dad but I was told that there is no such thing as Fathers' Day here in Slovakia. At least I could walk to the city centre on Sunday without having to watch happy families celebrating their dads all around. Another lazy weekend. I used to hate them. I used to be stressed about what am I going to do during the weekend if I didn't have my plans clear by Wednesday. But when the weekend arrives and everybody's out of town and you're on your own and you just have to deal with it. Despite the stressing, down-shifting for weekends has never been a problem for me. Not here.  It's a sad thought for me that some people have to pay money in order to be taught  how to calm down, let go of all work pressures or other worries and just enjoy the moment. Mindfulness they call it and it...