What am I doing?!

Yesterday after work I was sitting in my favourite café here in Bratislava, Urban House, having a glass of wine and looking out of the window at people coming from and going to the Christmas market. And it hit me like a ton of bricks: what the hell am I doing? Why am I moving away from a place where I have been nothing but happy 100% of the time? Why am I changing a job in a huge, international company to a job in a small, unknown company? 

I had to really pick my brain and list some pros and cons again in my mind and eventually it all comes down to one thing. Family. That's why I'm moving away from here, closer to home. It's my brother's and my best friend's birthdays at the end of January and if I lived in Slovakia I wouldn't be able to attend either. At this moment, when panic is rising in me, the fact that I wouldn't have to fly to get home made it certain to me that this is something I have to do right now. If I didn't go to Tallinn and see what this other job is all about I would never stop wondering. 

Last week I was recommended for some managers in the marketing department as a possible new hire and I have had interviews for a position there. And as brilliant as that job sounds I still have to go to Tallinn. But I'm trying to "make my bed" here so that if things go pear-shaped I have a choice to come back to Slovakia. Basically I'm trying to leave my foot between the door here. I am also extremely grateful that I have friends here who understand my decision and why I am doing this. It also warms my heart so much when they say that even though they are happy for me what ever I decide to do and wish all the best for me they still have a little hope that I will return here eventually. Sweetest people I have ever met <3

On Tuesday I had booked a table from my favourite restaurant here in Bratislava, Soho Bistro, and gathered with my favourite people to have some dinner and drinks and just relax. Just what I needed to get my mind off the fact that I have to travel soon. Today I still have time to go to the Christmas market and tomorrow I'm heading home, finally.


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